We all respond well to a familiar touch. Familiar touches are important when we are young. And, as this humane film reminds us, when we are old.
Familiar Touch was made in collaboration with residents at Bella Vista and persisted Living. It is an American facility, looking very comfortable, more spacious individual rooms than might have been expected, pleasant dining room, outdoor pool…
Which means that audiences in different generations will be looking at the film and responding to it in different ways. The oldest generation, who can identify with the central character, Ruth Goldman, a most persuasive performance by veteran Kathleen Chalfant, looking and sounding like a mix between Glenn Close and Meryl Streep, who is 86 with incipient dementia. As she says towards the end of the film, able to draw the conclusion, “this is where I will spend the rest of my life”. A perspective of reluctance and acceptance.
The next generation down in age might be thinking about parents and the future, how long they can stay at home, the need for going into care – or watching the film and remembering their experiences with their parents and care.
And one hopes that younger generations will look at the film with great sympathy, perhaps thinking that the events for their own lives are remote in the future but that the film will help them to appreciate what the elders are thinking and feeling.
The film sets a tone with its opening, spending quite some moments with Ruth going through her clothes closet, trying to decide what she will wear. And, then, as she prepares breakfast, taking the piece of toast from the toaster and putting it in the rack for drying crockery. And then her son comes to take her away. She thinks he is a visitor, is prepared to go on a surprise trip with him, trying to cope when she arrives at Bella Vista.
The way the film communicates Ruth’s experience is in a series of episodes, sitting at her first breakfast and asking whether there is a menu; her going into the kitchen thinking that it is hers and telling the sheriff and assistant what to do, their benignly allowing her to think the kitchen is hers and to prepare the fruit salad. But, later, a Valentine’s Day celebration is too much for her and she wanders away, down the street, going to a supermarket and buying fruit and vegetables…
In fact, the staff are very sympathetic, Carolyn Michelle as Vanessa something of her nursing companion, a strong and sensitive woman. And there is Brian, the doctor, testing her memory, taking her blood pressure, patiently responding to her chatter and conversations.
The writer-director, Sara Friedland, spent time as a carer in such a home and draws on that as well as the experiences of the residents and staff collaborating with the film to offer us 90 minutes of more gentle consideration of what can happen to each of us in our senior years.
Reviewed by Fr. Peter Malone, MSC
US, 2024, 90 minutes, Colour.
Kathleen Chalfant, Carolyn Michelle, Andy McQueen, H.Jon Benjamin.
Directed by Sara Friedland.
For more info: Familiar Touch (wikipedia)